Things I've learned

1. Never pick up the baby without a burp rag unless you plan on changing your shirt. Or in my husband's case, hopping back in the shower.

2. People love to give unsolicited advice. Most of it is ridiculous.

3. If holding my baby is gonna make him "spoiled," then consider him rotten. I'll hold him as much as I want, thank you.

4. When going back to work, it's important that the girls are easily accessible. More to come on fashion advice for nursing moms.

5. Co-workers don't really care how much sleep you did (or didn't) have. Drink some coffee and suck it up.

6. There is not a word that exists that can accurately describe the love I have for my son.

7.Post as many pics of your kid as you want! People can just block you if they don't want to see it.

8. Squeezing into pants that don't fit is a bad idea. Muffin top is a real thing.

9. It will always be funny to hear my husband gag while changing a diaper.

10. Priorities change and time flies. Its okay to skip dishes for kisses :)

2 months and back to work!

What, you are back to work? Then how are you writing this blog at 9am, you ask? Well, I'm working from home today. This is a bit of a transition week for me and I already put in 40 hours this week. I've been incredibly busy trying to get caught up after 8 weeks off. I have 4 pages of to do lists. I work in Corporate Responsibility and LOVE my job, otherwise I think I would feel completely overwhelmed.

Don't get me wrong, it's not all great. First, I have to get up at 3am and 6am and then get both myself and my baby ready. Then I have to drop him off with the sitter, which leaves me in this weird lethargic mood on the way to work. Luckily, she is a friend of mine and I feel better knowing he's in great hands.

Once I get to work, I have to arrange my schedule so that I can pump 3 times per day. My employer has a room specifically for nursing mothers, but unfortunately, it's a 7 minute walk from my desk (I've timed it). So that means I have to block off 30 minutes, 3 times per day to pump. It makes scheduling meetings difficult.

My goal is to breastfeed him for 6 months. That means I have to keep this up for 4 more months, because yesterday, he turned 2 months old! He smiles and talks so much more. Giggling is my favorite :) I know he recognizes me and my voice. He's still not great at holding his head up when he's on his tummy, but he gives it a good effort. I really never knew I could have this much love for one person, even when he is screaming at 3am.

Feels like a change is gonna come

Baby boy is taking a nap, so I finally have time to update this blog. I'm feeling a lot of anxiety this week. It's my last week home with him. I feel like we finally have a routine and now I have to start a new one. I'm anxious about being away from him. I'm anxious that I'm going to be overwhelmed with the stack of work waiting for me since I've been gone for 8 weeks. I'm nervous I won't be able to pump enough milk to keep up with his demands. I'm nervous that he's going to forget who I am. He'll probably start talking or something and I'll miss it. I know this is what's best for our family and I need to just woman up, but I feel like turning back the clock every time it ticks off another hour.

The good news is that he FINALLY is sleeping in his crib. He'll sleep for a 4-5 hour stretch and then another 3-4 hour stretch after a middle of the night feeding. I think I'll still be tired when I go to work, but at least I won't be in zombie mode.

In keeping with positives, the last 2 or 3 weeks have been much more enjoyable now that he can coo and smile and interact with me. It melts my heart every time. I don't think enough episodes of Super Nanny will ever prepare me for the first time I have to discipline this kid. It's overwhelming how much I love him.

1 Month!

Today is a huge milestone. I made it 1 month of exclusively breastfeeding. Latching on is much easier, but it is still exhausting. I fear that I won't have enough expressed milk saved up by the time I have to go back to work, which is in 25 short days. My goal is to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months. Fingers crossed.

Enough about me. My baby is 1 month old! Let's be honest, he doesn't really do a whole lot and I'm okay with that. I appreciate the naps between feedings. I love that he loves to cuddle and snuggle. I know that eventually he'll be squirmy and never let me hold him, so I'm treasuring the moments.

He can now see faces and recognize people. Yesterday he looked me straight in the eyes and gave me the biggest smile. *heart melted* With a smile like that I'm sure it will be hard not to let him get away with everything as he gets older, so I've been watching episodes of Super Nanny. I'm gonna be a timeout master :)

In sadder news, Dylan is losing all of his hair on top. He's my own little Benjamin Button. Obviously, he's still cute, but he does resemble a little old man. Proof:

In other sad news, he received his second Hep B vaccine today. I had to hold his little hands and then I cried right along with him. I've never heard him cry like that and I'll be okay if I never have to hear it again. *heart broken*

Height: 21 1/2" (21 1/4 at birth) Weight: 8lbs 10oz (6lb 14oz at birth) 25th percentile for each!

Milestones: Latching on like a champ, holds head up for 3 to 5 minutes, smiles, looks people in the eye, recognizes faces

Struggles: C'mon kid, let's sleep for 4 straight hours instead of 2 or 3! You are the cutest sleeper ever :)

3 weeks old!

This has been the most challenging week of my motherhoodness. I know they say it gets easier. All I can do is be patient. Breastfeeding is really difficult. I know it's natural, but it's also a huge challenge. It's not like a dog. I wish I could just lie down and the baby would crawl up, nurse, and crawl away. Instead, it's a constant battle of latching, falling asleep, waking up, switching sides, sometimes twice. Sometimes it takes an hour for one feeding. Then he falls asleep and wakes up in 2 hours, ready to eat again. That means, I have 2 hours to sleep, eat, shower, pee, pump, and then we are right back at it. Housework is never getting done at this point. I love the evenings because Ryan can give him a bottle while I do other things, like write this blog. But now he's feeding, which means I need to be pumping or I'll never keep up. Not to mention, I need to get some reserves in the freezer for when I return to work.

I had my first embarrassing moment of motherhoodness tonight at the breastfeeding support group. I got a little tangles in my moby wrap so I put Dylan down for a second. He decided that would be a good time to SCREAM bloody murder. And he didn't stop screaming until we got in to the car. I'm sure all the people in the hospital thought I was pinching him or something.

Anyway.. he sure is cute and totally worth it. Fingers crossed he adds an extra hour to his sleeping schedule this week :)

2 weeks!

I can't believe he is 2 weeks old already. This time is flying by faster than I want it to. I'm feeling better every day. It helps that Ryan was able to work from home all week. We finally got a schedule down that includes me sleeping for 6 hours every night! Too bad that's going to change now that he has to go in to work every day. It's going to be hard all alone. I'm not sure how single mothers do it.

Ryan and I were also able to go on a date this week. Dylan's grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, and cousin all came over to watch him while we got some alone time. I had a great time, but I rushed Ryan home because I missed him so much. How will I ever be able to go a whole day at work without him? Not to mention that week in April where I have to go to India for work.

Milestones: Tummy time without crying

Struggles: cluster feeding, bath time

1 week old!

Yesterday Dylan turned 1 week old. I can't believe how quickly time is passing. I've already cried thinking about when I will have to return to work and drop this little guy off to the sitter. Speaking of crying, I've been doing a lot of that. I know it's normal with all of the hormones and lack of sleep, but I am not the kind of person that cries so it's difficult to get used to. On a happy note, I'm down 20 pounds :) Only 20 more to go.

This week was eventful. We had visitors everyday. I'm so happy and grateful to my friends and family that stopped by to share in the love we have for my baby boy. That said, I am also grateful that we have no scheduled visitors today. I'll be taking tons of naps.

Enough about me! Back to Dylan's first week.

We went to our 1 week checkup a little early to check on weight gain. Since I had a breast reduction in 2005, the doctors wanted to be sure I was producing enough milk to exclusively breast feed. Just as I suspected, the milk factory is in full production and there is plenty to go around. I even think there's a little too much judging by the amount of spit up. I find it offensive. I worked hard to make that stuff and he just spits it out. Now is the time I'm wishing for that sarcasm font.

Dylan weighed 6pounds and 6 ounces, which is normal. They did a blood test to check for jaundice. He slept through the heel poke! The test was fine and our baby boy is healthy. We go back on Friday. Hopefully he's back up to his birth weight.

Milestones: First sponge bath, umbilical cord fell off, circumcision healed, first photo shoot, latching on without a problem :)

Struggles for mommy: Fussy and gassy at night, that high pitched scream when you aren't happy, and breastfeeding aches and pains.

Evidence of the scream. Also, get used to having your picture taken, kid :)