Things I've learned

1. Never pick up the baby without a burp rag unless you plan on changing your shirt. Or in my husband's case, hopping back in the shower.

2. People love to give unsolicited advice. Most of it is ridiculous.

3. If holding my baby is gonna make him "spoiled," then consider him rotten. I'll hold him as much as I want, thank you.

4. When going back to work, it's important that the girls are easily accessible. More to come on fashion advice for nursing moms.

5. Co-workers don't really care how much sleep you did (or didn't) have. Drink some coffee and suck it up.

6. There is not a word that exists that can accurately describe the love I have for my son.

7.Post as many pics of your kid as you want! People can just block you if they don't want to see it.

8. Squeezing into pants that don't fit is a bad idea. Muffin top is a real thing.

9. It will always be funny to hear my husband gag while changing a diaper.

10. Priorities change and time flies. Its okay to skip dishes for kisses :)

2 months and back to work!

What, you are back to work? Then how are you writing this blog at 9am, you ask? Well, I'm working from home today. This is a bit of a transition week for me and I already put in 40 hours this week. I've been incredibly busy trying to get caught up after 8 weeks off. I have 4 pages of to do lists. I work in Corporate Responsibility and LOVE my job, otherwise I think I would feel completely overwhelmed.

Don't get me wrong, it's not all great. First, I have to get up at 3am and 6am and then get both myself and my baby ready. Then I have to drop him off with the sitter, which leaves me in this weird lethargic mood on the way to work. Luckily, she is a friend of mine and I feel better knowing he's in great hands.

Once I get to work, I have to arrange my schedule so that I can pump 3 times per day. My employer has a room specifically for nursing mothers, but unfortunately, it's a 7 minute walk from my desk (I've timed it). So that means I have to block off 30 minutes, 3 times per day to pump. It makes scheduling meetings difficult.

My goal is to breastfeed him for 6 months. That means I have to keep this up for 4 more months, because yesterday, he turned 2 months old! He smiles and talks so much more. Giggling is my favorite :) I know he recognizes me and my voice. He's still not great at holding his head up when he's on his tummy, but he gives it a good effort. I really never knew I could have this much love for one person, even when he is screaming at 3am.

Feels like a change is gonna come

Baby boy is taking a nap, so I finally have time to update this blog. I'm feeling a lot of anxiety this week. It's my last week home with him. I feel like we finally have a routine and now I have to start a new one. I'm anxious about being away from him. I'm anxious that I'm going to be overwhelmed with the stack of work waiting for me since I've been gone for 8 weeks. I'm nervous I won't be able to pump enough milk to keep up with his demands. I'm nervous that he's going to forget who I am. He'll probably start talking or something and I'll miss it. I know this is what's best for our family and I need to just woman up, but I feel like turning back the clock every time it ticks off another hour.

The good news is that he FINALLY is sleeping in his crib. He'll sleep for a 4-5 hour stretch and then another 3-4 hour stretch after a middle of the night feeding. I think I'll still be tired when I go to work, but at least I won't be in zombie mode.

In keeping with positives, the last 2 or 3 weeks have been much more enjoyable now that he can coo and smile and interact with me. It melts my heart every time. I don't think enough episodes of Super Nanny will ever prepare me for the first time I have to discipline this kid. It's overwhelming how much I love him.

1 Month!

Today is a huge milestone. I made it 1 month of exclusively breastfeeding. Latching on is much easier, but it is still exhausting. I fear that I won't have enough expressed milk saved up by the time I have to go back to work, which is in 25 short days. My goal is to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months. Fingers crossed.

Enough about me. My baby is 1 month old! Let's be honest, he doesn't really do a whole lot and I'm okay with that. I appreciate the naps between feedings. I love that he loves to cuddle and snuggle. I know that eventually he'll be squirmy and never let me hold him, so I'm treasuring the moments.

He can now see faces and recognize people. Yesterday he looked me straight in the eyes and gave me the biggest smile. *heart melted* With a smile like that I'm sure it will be hard not to let him get away with everything as he gets older, so I've been watching episodes of Super Nanny. I'm gonna be a timeout master :)

In sadder news, Dylan is losing all of his hair on top. He's my own little Benjamin Button. Obviously, he's still cute, but he does resemble a little old man. Proof:

In other sad news, he received his second Hep B vaccine today. I had to hold his little hands and then I cried right along with him. I've never heard him cry like that and I'll be okay if I never have to hear it again. *heart broken*

Height: 21 1/2" (21 1/4 at birth) Weight: 8lbs 10oz (6lb 14oz at birth) 25th percentile for each!

Milestones: Latching on like a champ, holds head up for 3 to 5 minutes, smiles, looks people in the eye, recognizes faces

Struggles: C'mon kid, let's sleep for 4 straight hours instead of 2 or 3! You are the cutest sleeper ever :)

3 weeks old!

This has been the most challenging week of my motherhoodness. I know they say it gets easier. All I can do is be patient. Breastfeeding is really difficult. I know it's natural, but it's also a huge challenge. It's not like a dog. I wish I could just lie down and the baby would crawl up, nurse, and crawl away. Instead, it's a constant battle of latching, falling asleep, waking up, switching sides, sometimes twice. Sometimes it takes an hour for one feeding. Then he falls asleep and wakes up in 2 hours, ready to eat again. That means, I have 2 hours to sleep, eat, shower, pee, pump, and then we are right back at it. Housework is never getting done at this point. I love the evenings because Ryan can give him a bottle while I do other things, like write this blog. But now he's feeding, which means I need to be pumping or I'll never keep up. Not to mention, I need to get some reserves in the freezer for when I return to work.

I had my first embarrassing moment of motherhoodness tonight at the breastfeeding support group. I got a little tangles in my moby wrap so I put Dylan down for a second. He decided that would be a good time to SCREAM bloody murder. And he didn't stop screaming until we got in to the car. I'm sure all the people in the hospital thought I was pinching him or something.

Anyway.. he sure is cute and totally worth it. Fingers crossed he adds an extra hour to his sleeping schedule this week :)

2 weeks!

I can't believe he is 2 weeks old already. This time is flying by faster than I want it to. I'm feeling better every day. It helps that Ryan was able to work from home all week. We finally got a schedule down that includes me sleeping for 6 hours every night! Too bad that's going to change now that he has to go in to work every day. It's going to be hard all alone. I'm not sure how single mothers do it.

Ryan and I were also able to go on a date this week. Dylan's grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, and cousin all came over to watch him while we got some alone time. I had a great time, but I rushed Ryan home because I missed him so much. How will I ever be able to go a whole day at work without him? Not to mention that week in April where I have to go to India for work.

Milestones: Tummy time without crying

Struggles: cluster feeding, bath time

1 week old!

Yesterday Dylan turned 1 week old. I can't believe how quickly time is passing. I've already cried thinking about when I will have to return to work and drop this little guy off to the sitter. Speaking of crying, I've been doing a lot of that. I know it's normal with all of the hormones and lack of sleep, but I am not the kind of person that cries so it's difficult to get used to. On a happy note, I'm down 20 pounds :) Only 20 more to go.

This week was eventful. We had visitors everyday. I'm so happy and grateful to my friends and family that stopped by to share in the love we have for my baby boy. That said, I am also grateful that we have no scheduled visitors today. I'll be taking tons of naps.

Enough about me! Back to Dylan's first week.

We went to our 1 week checkup a little early to check on weight gain. Since I had a breast reduction in 2005, the doctors wanted to be sure I was producing enough milk to exclusively breast feed. Just as I suspected, the milk factory is in full production and there is plenty to go around. I even think there's a little too much judging by the amount of spit up. I find it offensive. I worked hard to make that stuff and he just spits it out. Now is the time I'm wishing for that sarcasm font.

Dylan weighed 6pounds and 6 ounces, which is normal. They did a blood test to check for jaundice. He slept through the heel poke! The test was fine and our baby boy is healthy. We go back on Friday. Hopefully he's back up to his birth weight.

Milestones: First sponge bath, umbilical cord fell off, circumcision healed, first photo shoot, latching on without a problem :)

Struggles for mommy: Fussy and gassy at night, that high pitched scream when you aren't happy, and breastfeeding aches and pains.

Evidence of the scream. Also, get used to having your picture taken, kid :)

Dylan is here! His birth story

I'm so excited to announce the birth of my son. He finally joined us at 7:42pm on Sunday, January 8th. I wish I could tell you that he came right out and it was a painless process. Instead, it was a 45 hour process.

My doctor decided to induce me for several reasons. I had gestational diabetes, my pelvic arch is very narrow, and I was anemic. She thought inducing a week early would give me the best chance for a safe, vaginal delivery.

Ryan and I checked into the hospital at 6pm Friday evening. After all the getting ready, meeting nurses, waiting for the doctor, it was 10:30 before they placed the cervadil. I started having some light contractions all night. Some hurt, others didn't and they were never in a good pattern. The next morning at 10:30, the doctor removed the cervadil and checked my cervix. I was only 2cm dilated and 50% effaced. She really wanted to see some more progress so she suggested we do a filybol to move things along.

At this point she suggested I eat and take a shower because I wouldn't have chance to do that for a while. My mom arrived and everyone was getting excited. We were predicting that he would be here some time in the evening. Side note: Labor and delivery only has 1 recliner, 1 rocker, and a table with 2 chairs for those joining the mother. Ryan had already slept in the recliner one night, so he was looking forward to getting out of there. We were all just very excited.

Some pics of day 2:

AT 2:15pm, the doctor came in the place the filybol. I didn't have any pain medications and up until now, trying to place that thing was the most painful experience of my life. She attempted to place it twice but failed because Dylan's head was blocking something (I stopped listening and was relieved when she stopped messing with me). We started the pitocin around 3:15 to try and progress the labor.

The pitocin worked and by 9:00pm I was in a lot of pain. The nurse suggested an epidural, so I received that at 9:15. Thanks goodness I made that decision because my doctor came back at 9:45 to attempt to place the filybol again. Since I wasn't in pain and didn't fight her, she placed it in about 5 minutes.

The filybol did wonders for effacement and dilation. At 2:00am, the doctor removed it and broke my water. I think I was 5cm.

Labor progressed slowly but steadily all day Sunday. The nurses and the doctors weren't giving up on me, but I could tell they all thought I would need a c-section. A couple of nurses even admitted after it was all over that they had predicted I would have to get a c-section. I'm not sure why I was so against it, but I did not want to get a c-section. So I got very determined. Dylan must have felt that determination too because he started descending and got into position quickly.

At 5:00pm, the nurse checked me and said I had a small bit of cervix left, but not a lot. She asked if I wanted to start pushing. I was feeling a lot of pressure and was exhausted so of course I jumped at the chance. At first, I was a champ, but I petered out after about 45 minutes. I ended up vomiting and getting a fever of 101. The doctor had me stop pushing, take tylenol, and rest for 30 minutes. It was defeating, but I was glad to have a rest. They came back and checked my temp after 40 minutes, and it had gone up to 102. The situation wasn't urgent, but I could tell that the doctor really wanted me hurry before any thing else unexpected happened.

I began pushing again. Dylan's head was getting stuck on my pelvis, but the doctor helped him through that. She told me that if I didn't push harder, she was going to use the vacuum. I really didn't want that. I was exhausted but pushed through it. Above me was a mirror, so I could see what was going on down there. I had been avoiding it up until this point. Every time we took a break, I looked up and kept thinking how ridiculously large my thighs were. It's just not a great angle :) But when we were getting closer to the end, I could see his head and it gave me all the motivation I needed to push through 3 more contractions. And just like that, he was here!!

The cord was wrapped around his neck which scared me a little, but he pinked up and gave a few cries. They put him on my chest. It may be the greatest moment I will ever have on this earth.

They took him away from me after 5 minutes or so to do all of his checks. Of course my mother and Ryan went right along with him, leaving me wanting to get off the dumb table and get my baby. Everybody forgets about the mom once the baby gets here :) Unfortunately, I had some internal tearing (nothing external.. yay!) so I couldn't move until the doctor finished the sutures. Here are the photos Ryan took of him while I was getting worked on:

Finally, they gave him back. He was 6 pounds 14 ounces and 21.25 inches long. He has really long arms and legs and fingers and toes like his daddy. He has the cutest little cheeks like his momma though. Honestly, I'm not sure that life gets much better than this.

Nesting

I heard this rumor early on in my pregnancy that toward the end, I would get this unyielding desire to clean my house. This phenomena is known as nesting. I didn't believe it. I'm what is known as a "stress cleaner." I inherited this from my mother. I keep a tidy house, meaning everything is picked up and the dishes are done. I do not however "deep clean" my house until something triggers my stress and I can't stand it any longer. And then... well I break out the toothbrush and start scrubbing every little crevice until my stress is relieved. I also tend to get angry with my husband for letting it get so dirty. But then I apologize later. He can thank my mother for that too.

In preparation for the baby, I've been cleaning out cabinets and making room. Getting his nursery together and washing his adorable little clothes. But today, I got this sudden urge to organize and clean. This time it wasnt triggered by stress. I'm living in a stress free zone at the moment. My ipad and I have found various ways to "green parent" (more to come on that later). I bought a new puzzle and I'm almost finished with all of my work activities. My boss is even letting me work from home this week.

So imagine my surprise when I was suddenly emptying the pantry. It's a good thing I did too, because half of that stuff was expired. I'm sure the hubby will be mad because trash day was today, so now all that food will just stink up the garage for a week. Oh well. I didn't think to take a before photo, but check out my organized pantry with enough food to last us a couple of days at best :) So guess who is going to the grocery on his way home from work? Nesting is bad for husbands I think.

SO CLEAN. Let's see how long it stays that way.

While doing that, I went for some cleaning supplies and wouldn't you know it, they are all terribly unorganized as well. Luckily, my family got me some Thirty-One items for Christmas that will do the trick.

Before:

And after:

So I took my handy dandy cleaning tote to tackle bathroom duty. And that's when I got pooped (pun intended). Maybe the instinct will kick in tomorrow and I will actually clean the bathrooms. It's looking doubtful.

Sent home from Labor and Delivery

Yesterday was draining, emotionally and physically. At about 1pm, Ryan drove me to Labor and Delivery just to get checked out. After 13 hours of contractions, I thought for sure this was it.

I was wrong. The good news is that Dylan did GREAT during the non stress test. The bad news is that they checked my cervix and I was still only a fingertip dialated. With that, they sent us home. At least we got a trial run for the real thing. I stopped having contractions at about 5pm and haven't had one all day today. I honestly have no idea what that was all about. Maybe my body was just trying to prepare me for the real deal.

We spent New Years playing board games and went to bed at about 12:30. I guess this is growing up?

Today, I made Ryan take me shopping so I could try to walk around and get some exercise. I'm so happy with some of the photography props that I got during the trip. I'm getting really excited to photograph my new little guy!