Feels like a change is gonna come

Baby boy is taking a nap, so I finally have time to update this blog. I'm feeling a lot of anxiety this week. It's my last week home with him. I feel like we finally have a routine and now I have to start a new one. I'm anxious about being away from him. I'm anxious that I'm going to be overwhelmed with the stack of work waiting for me since I've been gone for 8 weeks. I'm nervous I won't be able to pump enough milk to keep up with his demands. I'm nervous that he's going to forget who I am. He'll probably start talking or something and I'll miss it. I know this is what's best for our family and I need to just woman up, but I feel like turning back the clock every time it ticks off another hour.

The good news is that he FINALLY is sleeping in his crib. He'll sleep for a 4-5 hour stretch and then another 3-4 hour stretch after a middle of the night feeding. I think I'll still be tired when I go to work, but at least I won't be in zombie mode.

In keeping with positives, the last 2 or 3 weeks have been much more enjoyable now that he can coo and smile and interact with me. It melts my heart every time. I don't think enough episodes of Super Nanny will ever prepare me for the first time I have to discipline this kid. It's overwhelming how much I love him.

1 Month!

Today is a huge milestone. I made it 1 month of exclusively breastfeeding. Latching on is much easier, but it is still exhausting. I fear that I won't have enough expressed milk saved up by the time I have to go back to work, which is in 25 short days. My goal is to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months. Fingers crossed.

Enough about me. My baby is 1 month old! Let's be honest, he doesn't really do a whole lot and I'm okay with that. I appreciate the naps between feedings. I love that he loves to cuddle and snuggle. I know that eventually he'll be squirmy and never let me hold him, so I'm treasuring the moments.

He can now see faces and recognize people. Yesterday he looked me straight in the eyes and gave me the biggest smile. *heart melted* With a smile like that I'm sure it will be hard not to let him get away with everything as he gets older, so I've been watching episodes of Super Nanny. I'm gonna be a timeout master :)

In sadder news, Dylan is losing all of his hair on top. He's my own little Benjamin Button. Obviously, he's still cute, but he does resemble a little old man. Proof:

In other sad news, he received his second Hep B vaccine today. I had to hold his little hands and then I cried right along with him. I've never heard him cry like that and I'll be okay if I never have to hear it again. *heart broken*

Height: 21 1/2" (21 1/4 at birth) Weight: 8lbs 10oz (6lb 14oz at birth) 25th percentile for each!

Milestones: Latching on like a champ, holds head up for 3 to 5 minutes, smiles, looks people in the eye, recognizes faces

Struggles: C'mon kid, let's sleep for 4 straight hours instead of 2 or 3! You are the cutest sleeper ever :)